DON'T BELONG TO ME is a novel about happiness and suffering.

THE HAPPY RAJ

A synopsis
The Plot
Honours and Reviews
Excerpts
First Chapter

THE HAPPY RAJ TWO

A synopsis
The Plot
Honours and Reviews
Excerpts
First Chapter

THE HAPPY RAJ THREE

A synopsis
The Plot
Honours and Reviews
Excerpts
First Chapter

I DON'T BELONG TO ME

A synopsis
ThePlot
Honours and Reviews
Excerpts
The Plot
First Chapter

A BOUT THE AUTHOR

HEALTH IS SUPREME BLESSING
"Arogya Parama Labha"
Lord Gautama Buddha

MIND'S CULTURE
Meditation for
harnessing mind power

FORMULA FOR HAPPINESS
Happiness Action Plan

ENEMIES OF HAPPINESS
Improve knowledge base &
cultivate useful attitudes

I DONT BELONG TO ME

Some Excerpts

I DON'T BELONG TO ME

CHAPTER ONE: AMMA AMMA

“Amma amma. Can your hear me? Amma, can you recognize my voice? It has changed. It
is frail. It is damaged. It is weak. Because I am weak. I have been calling you for some time
now.

Ammaaaaa. Where are you? This is your Chutie. Your daughter. Can you recognize my
voice? My voice has changed.

Amma. It is dark here. And I am all alone here. Standing on the door step. Facing the sea.
Alone. Only sea devils. Surrounded by sea devils. I can see only the sea down below. No
Moon. No sun. No you. All hiding.

No. Amma. No. No. No. I know you don’t hide like that. I know you don’t like me standing
here alone. In the night. In the sea with the sea devils. Can’t you recognize my voice? It is
weak. It is cracked and frail. It has changed.

Amma, amma. My body is weak. I can’t stand, even leaning against the door. My legs are
failing. I am waiting for you to come and take me out from here.

Amma, Ammaaaaaaaa. All what I can do is to shout. Nothing else. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing means nothing. I can shout and cry. That is all
.
Amma, Amma, my body is weak. I can’t even stand erect any more. Even hanging on to the
door knob, looking out to find out whether your face is there. Can’t you see me standing at
this glass door? I can’t open it. If I can, I will jump into the sea. I know you will come and
save me then.

Amma, Amma, now I am kneeling. Because my legs don’t support me. Kneeling with the
elbows on the carpet. Like what you do in the temple. Even my forehead is on my palms. I
am worshiping you now. Praying. Please listen to me. Please come and take me into your
arms.

Amma, amma. Come and look for me by the door. The glass door opening to the deck.
Now I am kneeling. My legs have failed. They have drugged me. They have made me
unconscious, before they brought me here. All what I can do is shout now.

Amma, amma, please come and show me your face. Just to make me happy. If not, talk to
me from out side the door. That is more than enough.

Amma, amma. Come and just touch me. That is a great consolation. If not, just show me
your face through that cloud. It is enough to reduce my pain.

Amma, amma. If not, just send me a telepathic message. We have done it in the past. Why
can’t you get my messages now? If not just think of me, I’ll receive the message. I’ll be OK
then.

Amma. Just come and say, Chutie. It will make me happy and feel safe. I know I am not
mad. I am not dying. I am on my knees now, waiting to see your face.

Amma, amma. My knees don’t support me any more. Even to kneel on the floor waiting to
see your face. So are the elbows. What else can I do?

Amma, amma, now I am on my belly. Lying on my belly. On the dirty carpet. Waiting for you
to come.

Amma. Amma. Can you recognize my voice now? I know you can’t. Because, how many
girls, like me must be calling their mothers. World over. Waiting for their mothers to come
and save them. I am only one of them. Your own Chutie.

Amma, amma. When I am on my belly, I can’t call you now, because, my lower jaw does not
go down, when I call you. It is my head that goes up. It is paining. Therefore, I can’t even
call you. My voice is also failing. My tongue, I can’t control. It does'nt move.

Amma, amma. Now please tune to my thought waves. Because I can’t even talk. I am weak.
Amma, are you getting my messages now?

Amma, amma. I can’t even shake my legs like I used to do, when I was small. Lie on my
belly and shake my legs freely. Up and down. Up and down. I like that very much. But my
knee joints don’t allow me to bend them. There is no strength.

Amma, amma. I want to go to the toilette. But can’t. My body does'nt have the strength to
lift my self from the floor. I am like an iguana now. I can’t climb to the bed to sleep on the
mattress. That is why I am still on the floor. I can’t strengthen my hands to lift my body.

Amma, amma. I can’t keep my eyes open. They are sticky and heavy.
Amma, amma. I can’t keep my chin on my palm; I am now turning my head; now I am
looking at the computer. Eyes closed. My right ear, tuned to listen to your sweet voice, and
the left ear, on the carpet.

Amma. It is strange. I am beginning to hear some thing. It is some music. Sweet music. I
hear some water flowing. Are you still in your toilette, washing up to come and pick me up?

Amma, amma. I can think now. The sound of music comes from one of the drain pipes
below. That music. Beautiful music. Sweet music. Exotic. Good beat. I like it.

Amma, amma. I don’t want to sleep now. Until you come and touch me, I will listen to the
music until you come. Or until I hear your sweet voice; or until I see your loving face. Or
until you put me to sleep. I will listen to this beautiful music.

But I just can’t. I just can’t keep my eyes opened. Amma, amma. I can’t wait till you come,
because this music, this underground music is forcing me to sleep. It is like a nursery
rhyme.

Amma, amma. I can’t keep my eye lids opened, because they are heavy. There is
pressure to shut my eyes. What else can I do? What can I do now?

Amma. Amma. That is why I am calling to tell you that my body is week and frail. Lifeless. I
feel that my body does'nt belong to me any more. Not only my body. Even my feelings. I
don’t have feelings. They don’t belong to me either. The truth is I have no feelings.

Amma, I can’t even cry. I have no tears to cry. I am trying to force open my mouth. No. It is
not possible. That is why I am sending these telepathic messages.

I cannot recognize smells either. The smell of sweat in my body and urine inside my cabin.
On the old carpet where I am sleeping.

Amma. I am being taken over by that music, and forcing me to shut my eyes. I am feeling
sleepy. Sleepy. Sleep…”

The Plot
The story is about the indomitable Agni and her sufferings, struggles and gyrations to
bounce back. In an environment of a super-hell created in the ship, with a series of
incidents which include accidents in her own toilet, a rape, viral infections, ghosts, a death
on her own bed, a pregnancy and drugs, Agni plans to regain her lost happiness with the
help of meditation.

When the curtain is opened, semi-conscious Agni lies on a small bed in the ship’s cabin
unaware of what had happened to her. On the instructions of her Matron, sick Agni limps
up to her computer to find out about her new job. The designation, Staff Nurse, agrees
with her; but she explodes on seeing the necessity to trim her knee-long lock of hair.
Unable to bear up the insult, Agni decides to commit suicide. When two attempts at suicide
fail, she trims off her precious lock, and solves the problem for good.

While going through her training videos, Agni realizes that she has to practise the world's
oldest profession. Having recovered from the hangover of the drugs, Agni formulates new
strategies to re-engineer her life to regain her lost happiness.

But, how? Based on her own experiences, both at home and in the ship, she decides to
separate her body from her mind. She remembers how her first client deflowers and rapes
her body while she was unconscious, and later her second client dies; his mind escapes,
leaving his body on her bed.

Agni, the strategist, identifies and selects materials to build her new castles of happiness
from the current environment. While being confined to her small cabin, Agni plans to refine
her mind's culture by using her off-days to practise meditation as the vehicle to bounce
back.

The appearance of a ghost in Agni’s cabin makes a dramatic change in the bed of the
river. Agni reports it to Therese, her Matron, who is scared of ghosts. The success of the
fire walls installed by Agni to protect Therese against ghosts, welds a strong friendship
between the two nurses. Therese agrees to help Agni develop her meditation and later
she also takes to meditation seriously. She joins hands with Agni to work on Agni’s project
on using meditation to heal sicknesses.

Therese whispers to Agni of a new exit strategy, ‘Why don’t you get pregnant?’ Agni
accepts the proposition and decides to get pregnant at the earliest opportunity.

A terrorist attack on the ship makes the anti-terrorist cell disband their project , and
discharge all the temporary employees including Agni and Therese. Therese, an orphan,
agrees to work for Agni’s father who is a medical practitioner.

Pregnant Agni leaves for home accompanied by her friend, Therese, very happily.

I DON'T BELONG TO ME

Happiness is a self-made castle designed by you, for you to live in. The castles of
happiness built by Beauty Queen AGNI in her Kingdom of Happiness, crumbles
when she is abducted, drugged and detained in a mid-ocean ship, for an anti-
terrorist group.

When Agni realizes that her castles of happiness are crumbling, she sees the
necessity to re-engineer her life with new strategies by harnessing her mind
power, the only asset she can use to regain her lost life.

Set in a mid-ocean ship, all theatrics are confined to that ship. Agni, the main
character is virtually managed by her Matron. There are two other characters who
appear only once, but leave indelible marks on the life of Agni. One deflowers
virgin Agni when she was unconscious and the other dies on her bed leaving a
baby behind him.

The main conflicts in the story are between constraints and ravenous indulgence.
Agni’s knowledge of Buddhist philosophy helps her to resolve all problems to
enhance her levels of happiness.

Contact details. Nihal S Dissanayake 93/2 Athwela Mavatha, Boralesgomuwa, Sri Lanka. 10290
Telephones. [94] 0012 517 746, 5 052524, 5052537, E-mails: <nihal@happicraft.com>
<nihal@athwela.com><nihal_dissanayake@yahoo.co.uk>

I DON'T BELONG TO ME is a novel about happiness and suffering. It is
about how beauty queen Agni re-engineers her life while being detailed in
a mid-ocean ship, managed by an anti-terrorist cell. Although it is written in
the first person, it is not an autobiography of the beauty queen suffering
silently in a small cabin. Her hauty head does not permit her to use words
and phrases that are objectionable. Buddhist values are made use of in
interpreting her behaviour patters.

Some Periodicals by
Nihal S.Dissanayake
Founder Chief Editor of
Athwela Vyapara Sangarawa and
Small Business International
Magazine

Happicraft.com
Since 2004